Women don't write, he said

The remarkable poet Christine Webb has kindly allowed us to use this thoughtful and thought-provoking piece from her 2004 debut collection, After Babel. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 It was not the fruit

It was not the fruit she took

but the wood

not its flesh she chewed

but a pulpy fibre

(warm in that cavity

so various, ingenious

close to the brain

mother of language

thought shaper)

– spat out, finally

moulded and flattened

into rough leaves

a little bigger than the figs'

and drier

and for ink?

there were the experimental

berries, saps – ground

insects, even –

or the last resort,

the slow ooze

of red.

No problem of what

to say: creation 

all around, bursting

into words... In The 

Beginning... 

A shadow 

fell across the page as 

she squatted, rapt. – Women

don't write, he said

And screwed up her bible

Christine Webb

from After Babel, pub. Peterloo, 2004

The White Stone Well

This week, Charlie Raven's kindly given us an extract from her Holmesian murder-mystery The Compact. 

It's 1898. Recovering from traumatic events, the artist Alexandra has been persuaded to recuperate at the domineering Minerva Atwell's country hotel. An inexplicably eerie atmosphere seems to pervade the valley, perhaps associated with the ancient well in the woods - or with Minerva herself.

 

Adsullata Spa Hotel, Whitstanwell, Somerset

My dear Harriet,

Well, you will see from the notepaper where I am. I am sorry not to have communicated with you before. We arrived on Tuesday and I would have written sooner but it was all very rushed and time just seems to go so quickly. But before I say anything else, I want to apologise to you for my recent coldness. I don’t have to tell you why. I am sorry too about the unpleasant scene after the funeral. I fully understand why you felt you had to question Mr Burroughs like that and I cannot excuse his remarks to you. I think the shock affected him, as it did all of us. Think what he must have seen! Anyway, my harsh words at the time were uncalled for and I beg you to forgive me. Like the good old friends we are, let’s put it behind us. Now! Let me tell you about this place.

We took the train to Bath, of course, and then entrusted our luggage and ourselves to a rather alarming but very sturdy equipage that Mrs Atwell had arranged to meet us. It was drawn by two immense muddy dray horses and I soon understood why they were necessary. The carriage, as black and shiny as a beetle, at least looked in no danger of overturning, which was well - for it had to thread (rather dangerously, I thought) up and down steep foothills and through country lanes in the darkness. I cannot say that January is the time I would have chosen to explore the wilds! Mrs Atwell of course is a seasoned traveller and often comes here. She says the soft airs of the place, even in winter, are particularly conducive to health both of body and mind. There is a pretty village not too far away with a convenient post office too.

Anyway, we are settled now, dear Harriet. Mrs Atwell is a fascinating companion but she is often busy and you and I could chat very comfortably here. I have not had an opportunity to explore everywhere as yet, particularly as part of the hotel is shut up and undergoing repairs. It is being modernised, Mrs Atwell says, in preparation for the much busier seasons she expects in the future as the Spa builds up its reputation.

There are but three residents here at the moment, each of whom receives the very best care. Mrs Atwell tells me the waters of a marvellous local spring provide such benefits to the nervous system as are almost impossible to enumerate. She says the source is the same extraordinarily deep volcanic wells as supply the renowned hot springs at Bath. She herself discovered the forgotten well in the valley here and had it restored, diverting the waters to supply a pump room in this romantic old place. It has taken a great deal of work to get it right, she tells me, and she says the Bank has ‘sunk’ a lot of money into it, but the modern building is now almost perfect and will rival Bath itself in time. 

With her keen interest in history, Mrs Atwell assures me that she has found evidence that the use of the well dates back to pre-Roman times. Her workmen discovered various stones under the water in the course of their work. They are crudely shaped to suggest human heads. Apparently the poor superstitious fellows would have destroyed them but Mrs Atwell intervened and had them set up in the salon, much to local disapproval, as you may well imagine! She had them thoroughly scrubbed and they have come up as white as alabaster. She believes the very name of this valley is inspired by them – perhaps a fanciful idea, but who can say? You would be much interested to see them – I intend to append a sketch of one. You will agree, I think, that they retain a certain power.

I am sitting, my dear Harriet, in the comfortable salon having ‘taken the waters’ myself these three days running. I have drunk them – tastes like metal and blood, very odd - and also immersed myself in the beautiful pool which Mrs Atwell had built here. You would love to see it (and you would laugh to see me in it attired in a voluminous bathing gown!). It is tiled with blue and gold fishes – the pool, that is, not the gown. Don’t laugh – my head is a muddle. One hardly wishes to leave the pool once one is fully immersed. I can truly feel myself relaxing into a better state of health. 

I have made a great friend here too, a Mrs Halliwell, who as I write is sitting near me by the fire. She, poor thing, suffers much from gout and rheumatism. By lucky chance, she once also lived in Cairo for a while so I have enjoyed chatting whilst pushing her about in a handsome bath chair (or else she must hobble about on bandaged feet).

Dear Harriet, after the recent terrible tragedy – of which I can barely think or write - I hope that the healing qualities of this place are restoring me to my right mind. Quite soon I plan to resume work on the famous portrait of Minerva Atwell. She particularly wishes to work at it here because she says the atmosphere, light, etc. are very ‘artistic’. It made me laugh when she said that. 

I feel very blessed to have such a friend – for I think I may increasingly trust that I am her friend – and even more blessed to know that I remain your A.

Alexandra read the letter through, signed it and folded in a small sketch she had made the previous evening. She sealed it into an envelope and walked out to leave it at the reception desk with other letters waiting for the post. She was alone for now. Mrs Halliwell had dozed off in her chair. The other two residents were receiving various treatments from the staff. Minerva was somewhere about the place or busy in her office. 

Alexandra looked out of the windows of the solarium towards the head of the valley. At the top, a shoulderblade of brown-gold hillside caught the winter sunlight. Leafless trees marched down the slopes to flank the road leading to the hotel. Above it all, the thin and blue sky was like a pane of ice. It would be good to work again, to get the easel and some pastels, perhaps, and begin to sketch some of this. She had forgotten how compressed and exhausted she habitually felt in London; and although there was still a physical pain inside when she thought of Valentine, here it seemed easier to manage it, to breathe and to think alongside it. Stepping outside, she saw that waxy snowdrops were already nodding in the chilly wind by the wall in the sun.

Half an hour later, sitting on a tree stump with a board on her knee, Alexandra began a pencil sketch of the view back down the slope towards the house. She liked the irregularity of the building and the lie of the pale shadows on its complicated face. It had two distinct sides. One had a plastered façade in a Palladian style; the other was darker and far older. And from up here, she could see that there was more to it than she had originally thought. The more ancient half of it had a kind of prison of ash-pole scaffolding set up at one end but no workmen were in sight. 

The wind was cold and her hands quickly reddened. Too cold to stay exposed here for long, after twenty minutes she put the board on the ground, leaving it well-weighted with a lump of limestone. She decided to warm up with a walk and chose to aim for a thicketed little fold down near the bottom of the slope. As she stumbled over the tree roots, glad of her sturdy boots, she was thankful that the descent among the trees was taking her out of the wind. She hesitated, wondering whether to go back and collect up her things and recommence work from here. A few pretty sketches of the house and valley would be an appropriate thanks to Mrs Atwell for her kindness. 

She looked around to see if there was a worthwhile view, peering between the ranks of green-grey tree trunks. Nothing was moving. There was no sound at all. Further down, she saw a plume of steam rising from a hidden cleft. Fascinated, she realised she may by chance have found the source of Minerva’s original ‘White Stone Well’ and immediately set off to get closer to it.

This must be the well all right, she thought; but it was a weird place. A little further down the slope, she could see where the water had been diverted and hurried away underground into modern pipes, but here at the source, all was untouched. A few flat green stones led down in a shallow stair, natural or perhaps man-made, for she imagined she could detect the wear of feet. She followed them down to the spring itself and stood suddenly astounded to watch it gush out of the crevice. The strength of it was breathtaking. The copious brown stream rippled strongly up and out, steaming, powerful, pumping from a deep gash. The water-smoothed stones were red in the steam.

She sat down on a rock, staring, silent, and after a long time, dared to stretch down and touch the water. It was so hot. It was almost indelicate – fleeting associations of menstruating, giving birth, passed through her head. A most extraordinary sight, her modern rational self said again and again, as the water forced its way out, staining the rock surfaces, immodest, sinewy, from the deep into daylight. At long last, she turned away, feeling that she owed the wellspring something, a token, because it seemed alive and she had watched it.

Feeling foolish, she pulled one of the silver hat pins from her felt hat and threw it into the spring; and, as she moved to go, saw that she was not alone in this irrational urge. There was a shining edge of a hidden thing poked into a cleft in the rocks. The returning ferns and mosses would be covering it a few short weeks from now. Gingerly, she extracted it. It was crudely drawn, mere scratches on a tiny sheet of copper. She brought it closer to her eyes, eager to find out what it depicted. As far as she could make out, it showed a somewhat bizarre female figure. She rubbed the metal and slanted it to get a sight of the rough engraving. A standing naked woman was flanked by two birds. It’s the oddest thing, thought Alexandra, because someone’s drawn her with very unusual feet. The cloak drooping from her shoulders looks almost like wings. She replaced it carefully, deciding to discuss her discovery with Mrs Atwell after dinner. ‘Because it isn’t very old at all,’ she said aloud.

Killing our young

Sylvia Daly continues the blog's theme of remembrance of war this week. To our mind, her use of the traditional sonnet form, her choice of language and imagery echo the startling, subversive poetry that came out of the First World War  - except here, Sylvia speaks as a woman and a mother.

 War Cry!

A Sonnet by Sylvia Daly

Why do old men send our young to make war?

Flag-waving, bugle blown patriot lies,

teaching them hatred and how to abhor

masks envy of youth in manly disguise.

Women face death every time they give birth.

Blood, sweat and tears and great pain all endured

to give another a life on this earth,

and then watch, as to death each son is lured.

The final insult, killing our young.

Rending the bond we have forged with our blood.

We’d defend to the death life from us sprung

by pruning old wood, not the sprouting bud.

The murderous scream of the mother’s rage

is strangled by warlords through every age.

Sylvia Daly

"Remembrance Day is complicated..."

This week Jane Traies gives us her thoughts on Remembrance Day. In the UK ceremonies are held on the Sunday nearest to Armistice Day (11th November) - that's today.  

REMEMBRANCE DAY

This Sunday the royal family, accompanied by representatives of Her Majesty’s government and the armed forces, will gather in Westminster as they do every year for the National Service of Remembrance. It won’t be quite the same this year, because we are in the middle of a pandemic and a national lockdown. So the ceremony has been adapted for social distancing, and the traditional march-past will not take place. But there will still be a two-minute silence at 11 o’clock, followed by wreath-laying at the foot of the Cenotaph by the Great and Good. 

Every year I try not to watch this service at the Cenotaph, because I know it will make me cross and depressed. Yet, every year, as it gets to about 10.55 a.m., I put the television on in spite of myself, and watch as institutional privilege, militarism, class inequality, the self-righteousness of politicians and the obedient sentimentality of the British people are solemnly paraded yet again. The commentator (and yes, it is still a Dimbleby) speaks in the same tone of hushed reverence that we heard at the Coronation nearly seventy years ago. And I am furious and disgusted, because nothing has changed, soldiers and civilians are still dying as we speak, and the ceremony seems to start from the premise that all of that is noble and acceptable and inevitable. But it’s not. It’s just the ‘old lie, dulce et decorum est.’

My great-uncle George was still a teenager when he was wounded at the Battle of the Somme. We were never quite sure how long he lay in a shell-hole before he was found. When I first knew him, he was a middle-aged man with what was then called ‘nerves.’
In 1943, my father landed on a beach in Italy and stepped on a mine that blew his foot off. His leg was amputated; he was twenty-two. In those days there was nothing heroic about disability. He walked with pain for the rest of his life.
My Auntie Joy, a twenty-one-year-old Army nurse, was part of the first medical team to go into the concentration camp at Belsen after it was liberated in 1945. She woke screaming from nightmares for the next ten years. She stopped believing in God. For the rest of her life, she found it easier to love animals than human beings.

There’s nothing dulce or decorum about any of that.

So, for people of my generation and older, Remembrance Day is complicated. The first time I heard the Last Post break the two minutes’ silence, I wasn’t yet old enough to go to school; but, even at that age, I absorbed the solemnity and the pride of it from my parents, for whom the struggles and losses of the Second World War were still recent and painful. Growing up in the 40s and 50s, I was taught – at home, at church and at school – the twin doctrines of noble sacrifice and national gratitude. ‘I vow to thee, my Country…’ Those weren’t abstract things for us, because they were about real people: the distant cousins in uniform in Gran’s photo album; our dad’s Old Comrades, whose names on the regimental war memorial we heard read out every November; and all those friends and relations who carried the visible and invisible scars of two World Wars. As late as the 1960s, when I started driving, I remember stopping the car at the side of the road for the two minutes of the Armistice Day silence, as drivers did in those days, and feeling that I was part of something serious and proper. Strange, now, to think of it; but that’s how it was. Doubt would have been disloyal. 

So, what do I do now, awkward old pacifist-atheist-republican queer that I became? That’s not straightforward, either. 

I don’t wear a poppy these days (or if I do, it’s a white one); but I still put money in the box, in memory of Dad and Uncle Georgie and Auntie Joy. I wouldn’t dream of joining my neighbours as they process to the village war memorial behind a marching band; but I do put down my gardening gloves and go and stand on the pavement to watch them. It makes me feel grumpy and conflicted, but the sight of the old men in their medals still moves me as deeply as it ever did. Then I go indoors and, after my little ritual struggle, I put the television on and ‘Nimrod’ still makes me cry. 

So why do I still watch that pompous ceremony? Why, every single year, as they settle to the two minutes’ silence, does a lump form in my throat and make my eyes sting? It’s partly a Pavlovian reaction, of course; but it’s a bit more complicated than that.

LIVE FROM YOUR CENTRE - advice from a real Wise Woman this Hallowe'en

This Hallowe'en we are privileged to host the words of a genuine practitioner of the old ways, Magenta Wise. Take some time out to enjoy this reflection on the meaning of Samhain, how to honour your departed and get in touch with deeper levels of consciousness.

Happy Samhain! This festival, now Hallowe'en, was once named Hallows' Eve, meaning holy or sanctified evening, and had a deep spiritual importance in the ancient Pagan calendar. It still does to those who follow the ancient ways, when we were more connected to nature and each other. Also known as All Saints and All Souls day, this is the eve when the veil between our world and that of spirit parts and the ancestors may be contacted. This is the Witches’ New Year, when we are shown the path ahead for the coming twelve months. As it approaches, perhaps we find our thoughts turning to those departed, and we might ask if they are close and wishing to communicate with us.

I wondered about the tradition of carving turnips, and pumpkins, and placing lights inside. It occurred to me that, as they resemble skulls, it was significant. Then I had a vision of village graveyards, where folk would gather round the graves of their loved ones and place the carved turnips on the graves. It seemed to me that the light was to attract the spirit and invite it to enter the turnip and communicate with the living.

Although I appreciate it’s fun and exciting, Hallowe'en has become overly commercialised and overlaid with greed and consumerism, children knocking on doors and expecting to be given many sweet treats for no other reason than it’s Hallowe'en. When I was a child in Scotland, we called it ‘guising’. Yes, we dressed up, but not in anything ugly. Maybe a white sheet or whatever else we wanted to wear. We visited our neighbours, and we had to work hard for our one sweetie, piece of fruit or a few nuts. We each had to do our well-rehearsed party piece. Some of us sang, told jokes, recited a poem or danced. We might also sing in chorus. This delighted the adults (I’m sure they found us hilarious) and we were satisfied with our sensational performances. It had little to do with sweets, the fun, participation and appreciation was the main part.

If we wish to return to a more spiritual experience of Samhain and engage with the departed, we have need to alter our consciousness away from the everyday and logical, and enter into deeper parts of ourselves. We must delve into our ancient wisdom, the innate memories of times gone by, and into our intuition, our psychic consciousness, that we may become mediums and receive that which our loved ones bring to us. These forms of being are not popular in today’s world, being mostly ignored, derided or ridiculed, yet they are essential to a balanced life. 

Wisdom is found in the Wise Woman and psychic powers in the Enchantress, two of the Twelve Archetypes portrayed in my book, ‘Live From Your Centre – on the Wheel of Life’. This work is based on the Four Elements and how their interaction gives rise to a maximum of twelve types of consciousness. There is an identification of the Twelve, each one fully described, with sections on how to recognise which ones we and others are using, and which ones we need to develop to evolve more of our true selves, which live in the Centre of our circle.

This is a big book, with many illustrations, including colour. It contains guidance on how to call forth these other parts of ourselves, that we become more balanced and well-rounded. It must be stressed that, although there are six female and six male Archetypes, they do not apply to men and women in stereotypical sexist roles. All Twelve are available to both sexes, as are all Four Elements. There are three Water Archetypes, three Earth, three Fire and three Air. It helps to think of them as Yin and Yang. Men can also be wise and psychic, just as women can be warriors and scientists for example. 

This is a brief description of the Wise Woman and the Enchantress, bearing in mind that if our consciousness identifies with only a small part of the circle, it becomes stagnant, and we may exhibit some of the negative aspects of the Archetypes in which we are stuck. Practising others and awakening them in ourselves purifies them and we begin to feel more movement in ourselves and in our lives. Below, there is a link to my blog where you can read the entire first chapter.

The Wise Woman is an Earth Archetype, she is a storehouse of treasure of all kinds. In the material world, she stores our food for the winter and our money in her banks, but she also stores memories, including racial ones. She carries within her all the wisdom gained through the ages, she has inner riches, she values things, she cares for the earth, which makes her an excellent conservationist. She hates waste, and has concerns as to how we are laying waste to the land. We must not confuse her with Mother Nature, who grows our food and suckles all her children, all species on earth. When overused, the Wise Woman can become a suspicious, miserly worrier, but when balanced with other Archetypes she is a great blessing. We turn to her to invoke the memories locked safely away in the depths of our beings and call forth the souls who rise to greet us.

The Enchantress is a Water Archetype, she is our feelings, the deepest part of ourselves, as the ocean floor is to the earth. She is our intuition, our psychic abilities, so of course we have need of her when contacting the other realm. She is the medium, she has visions, her feelings are an essential guide, giving direction as to good choices and warnings of bad. Unlike the Actress, the Archetype who expresses our emotions, the Enchantress’s feelings are usually not known to others, unless they themselves are in the Enchantress. She is enigmatic, magnetic and mysterious. Perhaps this is why she is practically outlawed, she can sense what people are thinking and they fear her for it. Negatively, she can become melancholic, depressed and will weep tears for all the pain and suffering in the world. She also prophesies, so she could be seeing horrors to come, for unlike most, she has not lost touch with the collective consciousness, and it’s not a comfortable place to be in these times.

So, this Samhain, if you want to receive those who have passed on, have your turnip or pumpkin in front of you with a tealight in it ready to light, or only a candle if you prefer. Sit in a circle if with others, or comfortably if alone. Switch off the electric lights, imagine a protective bubble of light around the room and light your candle or tealight. Go quietly and deeply into yourself, empty your mind and wait for what may come. It could be the sense of a particular person, or a vision, a thought, some words, numbers, a recalled scent or sound. Don’t judge or question what you get, simply flow with it. We may not think we have received anything at all, but in the following days something might occur that makes us think. If in a group, take it in turns to share if desired, you may have messages to give to each other. When you feel you have finished, thank the spirits who have come, bless them on their journey home, and let the bubble of light dissolve. As soon as you can, write down what came to you, you may not realise you were in a light trance and, like a dream, things can easily slip away. I hope you have an enriching and comforting experience.

I wish you a wonderful Hallowe'en, however you are spending it, and may you go forward into the new year with renewed hope and energy. Blessed Be.

https://www.magentawise.com/post/read-the-first-chapter-for-free-here
mybook.to/LiveFromYourCentre

Also by Magenta on Amazon.
Poems – ‘Messages are Dancing in the Rain’ and ‘Dancing with Shadows and Ghosts.
Short stories – Kill and Cure.
https://www.magentawise.com

TIT FOR TAT

Maggie Redding's story - published for the first time today - is just a little dark. It reminds us of Roald Dahl's Tales of the Unexpected - 'sinister, wryly comedic with an unexpected twist at the end'. We do like that sort of thing.

“Why not?”  Colin’s tone was puzzled and demanding.

“I just don’t feel the need,”  Tilly said.

Colin shrugged.  “I just thought it would make the most superb Christmas present.  I thought I was being original, considering your needs and all that.”

Tilly felt she had offended him.  Indeed, the word rejection hovered in the air like a threat.  Colin must not be allowed to utter it.

“Yes, I know.  It’s certainly original.  But it’s not a need I have.  It’s not even a want.  I’m quite happy really -.”

“Are you sure?”

“Colin, of course I’m sure.  I know I’ve said a couple of times I wish I could add a few inches, but -.”

“Okay, okay.  I get the message.  I’ll have to think of something else.  I thought I’d come up with something most women would jump at.”  He pointed at her, his finger and eyes at the level of her chest.  “but that must be the flattest bosom in Wales.”

With that he made a huffy exit from the room not quite slamming the door after him.

A couple of times before Christmas, Colin mentioned boob jobs but it was in a light-hearted way and Tilly felt he must have understood her point of view.

On Christmas Day she was relieved to see a beautifully wrapped package with her name on it and a loving message from Colin.  Several times she picked up this package and turned it over.  It was not large, about the size and shape of a large box of chocolates.  Chocolates, however, it was not.  Colin could be relied upon to be original.  Always.

Colin opened her present to him.  She wished she could think of something for him that he would acknowledge as original.  But she lacked the imagination he had.  So some video games and a ticket (or two tickets) for a show in London were certainly acceptable.

But when she tore off the wrapping paper her heart and her hopes descended to rock-bottom.  Surely he was not giving her chocolates?

But the box was not sealed.  She lifted the lid.  Inside was paper money, £50 notes.  Lots of them.  And a little card was with it.  “Oaklands Clinic” she read.  “Mrs Tilly Carter.  Your initial appointment is on 8th January at 3pm.”

Tilly stared at the card, comprehension dawning slowly.  She felt her cheeks growing hot.  She was angry.  But it was Christmas Day and she mustn’t be angry.  And this was a Christmas present.

She looked up.  Colin’s face was a picture of expectancy and self-satisfaction.

Tilly fingered the currency notes.  “There’s an awful lot of money here,” she whispered.

“I know.”  He really had no idea.  He sat there, elbows on knees, hands clasped, waiting to be thanked, praised, admired.

Tilly met his gaze.  “You are incredible,” she said.

He took it as a compliment.  “You deserve it,” he said.  “I want you to have everything.”

“With knobs on,” she thought and stifled a giggle.  He thought she was laughing in delight.

“A boob job,” she said, “for Christmas.  Who would have thought.”

“Are you pleased?”

What could she say?  “Of course I’m pleased.  Thank you, darling.  What on earth will my friends say?”

“They’ll say they wished they were married to me!  How many husbands buy their wives a boob job for Christmas?”

The conversation continued in this vein for some time, each line slightly missing the aim, his because he did not understand her, hers because she did understand him, only too well.  She needed time to think and while she played the grateful wife out loud, her brain was working out how to deal with what, to her, was a problem.

Could she hide her true feelings from Colin?  That would mean undergoing an operation.  Tilly had a fear of operations and hospitals.  Perhaps she could keep the appointment and pay the clinic to say she was not a suitable case.  Or, and this was absolutely the worst, perhaps she should go ahead and have it done?

It was so unfair, she told herself.  Could she just take the money and run – literally, run away from the marriage?  Tonight?  If only!  If only she dared.  It was so unfair.  Why didn’t men feel the same pressure to enhance their bodies?  Perhaps she could demand the same kind of sacrifice from him, all over tattoos, for example?

Tilly managed to smile through Christmas, through her teeth and through her resentment.  She smiled so much she gave herself a headache – several, in fact.

January 8th, the day of the initial consultation arrived.  Tilly allowed Colin to accompany her to the Clinic, but he waited in the waiting room for the consultation itself.

As a preliminary to that, she had an interview with a nurse.

“I’ve got to tell you,” Tilly said, “I’m not comfortable with this idea.  I’ve had a small bust all my life and I’m not too bothered about it.”

The nurse was silent for a moment.  “Hubby’s idea?” she said at last.

Tilly nodded, staring at her feet.  “Christmas present,” she mumbled.

The nurse nodded.  “Divorce him,” she said.

“That’s a bit drastic.”

“So’s an unwanted boob job.”

“I just wish,”  Tilly burst out, “I just wish there was something that he could have done that’s equivalent.”

“Men are such cowards,” the nurse said.

There was silence.

“There is a way,” she added quietly.  “We do have this special arrangement.  And I mean special.”

“What special arrangement?”

The nurse paused again.  “If you come into the other consultation room, we’ll explain.  Then we’ll need to see your husband ...”

Christmas a year later was so different.  The flattest bosom in Wales was now a respectable “C” cup and its owner looked genuinely happy.  Colin also looked relaxed and happy.

“It was a good thing we did, wasn’t it?” said Tilly.

“Indeed!”  Colin beamed.  “I never thought life could be so good.”  He passed the gravy to her without being asked.  “More bread sauce?  Do you have enough turkey?”

“I’m fine, thanks.  And I’m fine because you are fine.  Colin, you are so much more caring.  All that macho stuff, worrying what your mates thought, being tough and competitive – it’s all gone. It was a good decision,” Tilly said

Colin chuckled.  “And we’re the richer for it!  The only sacrifice was a few hormone injections and some hypnotherapy.  Much as I hate injections your surgery was by far the greater sacrifice – all to please me.”

“We’re pioneers, aren’t we?  The social implications of these experiments are so far-reaching.  A reduction in crime, in male aggression, a more caring society.  You really are a hero.  It was very, very brave of you.  And, as you say, we’re richer, and in so many ways.”

“As I thought,” said Colin, “when I was having the first injection – all this for a little prick!”